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I, Oxymoron

I’m sorry I haven’t written here in a while. I’ve been really busy these last few months writing pretty much nothing and in general, procrastinating my 30s away. But despite my general, overall unproductively, I can’t say it’s been all that bad being me either. I don’t know how or why, but even through the crippling anxiety I experience at 9.30am every morning and loathing and self doubt rolling around at 4pm, I’ve been fairly content as a person.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’ve always believed that adversity is the best companion to creativity. I’m at my worst when my world is validated, which, I’m not sure I’m sorry to say, I kind of am right now. Does that sound too arrogant? Because I don’t mean to be. I’m still crippled and self loathing, remember? I’m am walking, typing, oxymoron. Truly. I am.

Anyway, I just thought I’d write a quick note here to say, hello! I’m still alive even though my blog has been asleep. This is also where I promise to post more often and maybe even hint at some exciting things stowed away in my very rusty from disuse pipeline. But I won’t. I’m just not in the mood to formalise in writing these hazy commitments I cannot keep.

But I suppose I could share a few things that are keeping me inspired these last few months:

    1. I compost now. Regularly. And my plants aren’t dying anymore. Probably because I water them every two days or so.
    2. I am trying to move towards zero waste at home and life, in general. This is proving to be very hard but just attempting this feat, albeit unsuccessfully, makes me realise how much unnecessary waste we contribute to the world on a daily basis.
    3. I keep failing at baking my own bread at home. But I do make a kickass focaccia!
    4. I actually do have something very cool on the not-so-rusty end of the pipeline. More about this soon. Promise!
    5. I sprained my ankle and injured my back which led me to quit the gym for the last two months. But I haven’t gained weight even if I do tend to huff at the end of a 2km walk. This is something to celebrate in itself, isn’t it? Barring the huffing, of course.

Thanks for reading! I’ll be back soon with more posts and hopefully better words, sentences and paragraphs. This, I definitely promise.

Love,

Afsha